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Updated December 29, 2009
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In Loving Memory of Mary Essex
March 29, 1909 - January 21, 2000
January 21, 2000
Dear Mother:
Where you are now you know the truth and I can't help but wonder how close or far apart it is from the truth I know. What I do know is that you are in a far better place. I envy you.
When Jane told me tonight that you had finally let go and gone home I knew only joy and that is as it should be. There is no sadness in my soul. How could there be? You are enfolded in the Light.
When I said my good-byes to you five years ago it was the child wailing at the loss of its' mother, "Please don't leave me!". Today, while perhaps not quite as grown up as I might like to think, I am at least more grown up with a grown-up's understanding.

Still…

I want to, on this night of celebration, share with you my thoughts on what it has meant to have you as my mother.

More than anyone else on this earth you taught me love as love should be, was meant to be. I doubt very much you were even aware that you gave the kind of love that sets one free. But you did because you never condemned. Respective of all the parenting words you gave there was always an absolute foundation of "I love you."

I don't think I ever told you how often I have bragged about you. You were never able to see yourself through my eyes and for that I am so sorry because you are so very special. You have been my role model and my strength. I credit you with the good things that I am. And the thing is, I don't know how you did it. Certainly not in any traditional way.

I remember when I thought you were a pushover when it came to Dad. I would get so angry because you put up with his nonsense. Then you kicked him out. I was so proud of you that day.

I'm not sure just when I came to see you differently; when I came to understand and admire your gumption and strength. I know that you saw yourself as a failure and felt very much alone. I suspect it was a cry you had for the entirety of your life. But mother, were you really a failure? By what measuring stick? You touched the lives of so many people. Not just your family but also strangers, the lost, the unlovable and the lonely. You always had a place for them in your home and your heart.

The family will gather together to honour you as you should be honoured. You did not gain wealth or reputation, Mother. You did not bring healing to hundreds or thousands. What you did do is leave a legacy of love to those who have been privileged to know you, and it is for that we give you honour.

Each of the family members will deal with your going in their own way and time. None of us are mourning because we know for you it is a release. But… it is a time to reflect on how precious life is and how important it is for us to embrace each moment and each other in loving ways.

These last ten years have been hard. The roles of parent and child have been reversed, but that's okay because, even though we have missed your counsel and loving, bossy ways, it has given us opportunity to give to you what you have so many, many times given to us.

We love you, Mother, and are just very happy knowing you are at peace.

 

In Memory of Grandma.