Updated December 29, 2009
www.lovecounts.net
When I was born you were a fine age of 58, more than half of your life had already been lived. That however NEVER stopped you. When I was 5 years old, maybe 6, is when I have my first memories of you. You brought Jesus into my life for the first time. I went to Sunday school every Sunday for weeks, and received a Bible, then stars for the many verses that you taught us. If only you could have been my teacher growing up, I would have passed with flying colours.
I still remember a few of those versus you know. Some of them I even say on a regular basis. One that I would like to share with you at this time is
“God so Loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16.
Often in the last 9 years since your stroke, I have felt that you did not believe that verse. You thought that you were not worthy to go to heaven, that you had not done enough. I know that you know better now. I am happy that you have gone home. That of course is not to say that I will not miss you. You have no idea how empty I feel right now. Part of my spirit and life went with you to heaven.
In learning to deal with that loss, many things have gone through my mind. Finally I decided to write you this letter to share with you some of my happiest memories.
It seems to me you were always in my life, probably because for a good portion of it you were. When our apartment burnt down up in Port Hardy you were there. When my mom and I were fighting you took me into your home. I still very clearly remember fighting with my mom and I was headed for California. Mom called and I told you that I did not want to talk to her. I was a very angry young lad. You not only made me talk to my mom but you made it so that I would listen and forgive. You said, “Ryan sit down and talk to your mom. She loves you, and no matter how you feel now, you love her and she is all you have. Do not leave without making up with her.” My mom and I did make up and never looked back. I never did thank you for that.
When you were 73 you got in your car and drove me down to California. You did not say that I could not go or give me lectures the whole way. You simply drove me down to your friend in California and made sure that I would be ok. You were 75 when I got my ankle split by a grass edger and drove down to California to rescue me.
You taught me so many things in my life that I have trouble coming up with them.
Of all the things that you have done for me, or given me in your lessons, I think
the most valuable was the love. You taught me, and most of us, not only your love
but also a love for God. You gave us this protector to watch over us. No matter
where I have been in my -
Well I guess, so that I do not make a book out of this, I should finish with my last memory of you. This I will cherish forever. It brings a stream of tears every time I think of it. I had come alone to visit you in that hospital that I hated. (I would have done anything to have you at home with me, but alas, it was not in my power to do so.) You were doing really well on this day. You were full of smiles and hugs. We almost had a real talk for the first time in a long while. I happened to mention to you how much I missed hearing the words I LOVE YOU coming from your lips. You very slowly and very carefully said “I Love You Ryan.“ We laughed and cried and I knew it was the last time I would ever here those words. That was my goodbye to you.
I will tell you one more time Grandma from the bottom of my heart, I LOVE YOU,
Goodbye grandma…
Your grandson,
Ryan D. Little
To those that read this in the years to come, understand that this is my way of healing and honouring one of the most important people to ever cross my path. My family is very aware of just how close I was, and am with my Grandma. My keyboard is dripping wet so I better go.
